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Sep 7, 2011

A Great One Liner... Write On Wednesday

This week's exercise over at Ink Paper Pen is to come up with a single sentence that packs some punch by describing a part of someone's day and telling a story [fiction or non-fiction]. *EDIT: Seeing as it's a quick exercise but a very helpful one, I've added a couple more.

I gripped the metal handle of the factory door and my knuckes instantly froze to it, just as I imagined my father's always did.
~
Lisa agreed with her mother that the sewerage drain outside the front door was an issue with her new flat, but a far more pressing one she loathed to mention was the door key glistening in the trickling, putrid water below.
~
As usual, I'm open to criticism, but please try to stick to the one liners. ;)



Write On Wednesdays


11 comments:

Sif said...

Great line! I know that feeling of my hand freezing to a handle in the cold!

Melinda Chapman said...

Thanks Sif! It's the story of someone taking over their father's factory after he passed away, and the omen that they will get stuck doing it for the rest of their lives, just like the father did, hehehe.
Thanks so much for popping by and giving your feedback! :)

Melissa said...

Interesting line :) Would it have been a warm day, making the point even more striking? Just a thought...

Melinda Chapman said...

Very interesting, Melissa! I read it again as purely psychological... thanks for that.

Kerry said...

I like this! I got the exact impression you were trying to convey by your comment above. Nice job!

Melinda Chapman said...

Thank you Kerry! Happy to hear that. :D
If anyone is interested, I added a couple more. I got inspired after seeing other people's kick-a** submissions.

Finding a skinnier me said...

My favorite one was the second sentence. I loved the image that came along with it!

Laura Maria said...

Definitely the third!
I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award (just in case you haven't seen :D). The details are on my page. Best of luck in writing!

InkPaperPen said...

Brilliant work! I love the first one liner, so much in so few words. Just what the brief asked.Thanks for joining in with WoW. Pleased to read in your comment above that you were inspired to write more! That is great

Gill x

V. Furnas said...

Great first line to a book. Thanks for sharing.

Melinda Chapman said...

Thanks so much, everyone, for all your encouraging feedback! It's my first WoW, and I've felt so welcomed by you all, and inspired. Looking forward to reading more of your work! Mel xo

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